The myth that is the female fart
I have posted this on some other site, so don't worry, I am the same Danny
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Have you ever wonder why you don’t really cook “cookies” and you don’t really bake “bacon”?
Ok maybe not, let’s try this again
Have you ever wonder why you have never in your life time heard a woman fart?
I know I have.
It is the most peculiar thing. I consider myself to be quite the fart expert, or one would say a “farter”. I fart about 32 times a day, and that is not even counting the ones I fart when I sleep. I have farted in various places, and I have farted in various situations. I fart often, and I fart hard.
But one thing I have to say about the subject of “fart” is that I have never, ever, heard a woman fart. Not my mom, not my teachers, and not my friends. Nothing, nada, the big O, not even a little “squeak.”
Have man and woman become so dramatically different over the course of evolution that women have simply “evolved” out of the need to fart? Or do they simply put a silencer in front of their anus? Whatever it is, I can not figure it out.
This is harder than Calculus, more complicated than Rocket Science, and certainly more bizarre than how they get the caramel into the delicious chocolate bar.
For all I know, “fart” might be the secret weapon the female race have been hiding over the years. While gang members are out there threatening each other with guns and knives , women are laughing over this silly obsession of thugs for something so trivial when it is compared to the might of the female fart. And the reason they hide this “weapon” from us men is for the fear that we might use it to create globe chaos, and by not telling us, women are really saving the world.
Or it could be because that a female fart is extremely sexy, so sexy to a point where the capacity of the average men just can’t handle, and if we are ever expose to a female fart, it might shock us so much that we simply won’t be the same ever again. So by that theory, women refuse to fart (if they do at all) in front of men simply because we as men can’t handle the excess sexiness of the female fart, and by doing so, women are sparing us.
What is the real reason of why I have never heard of a woman fart, I may never know. But what I do know is this: a woman can be a lot of things, she can be a control freak, she can be whiny, she can be emotional, and she can be vain. But one thing is for sure, women are far superior farters than us men. And if not for anything else, we should tip out hats off to them, for being the better farter between the two sex. So kudos, kudos to you, ladies.
a tribute, by Danny
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Have you ever wonder why you don’t really cook “cookies” and you don’t really bake “bacon”?
Ok maybe not, let’s try this again
Have you ever wonder why you have never in your life time heard a woman fart?
I know I have.
It is the most peculiar thing. I consider myself to be quite the fart expert, or one would say a “farter”. I fart about 32 times a day, and that is not even counting the ones I fart when I sleep. I have farted in various places, and I have farted in various situations. I fart often, and I fart hard.
But one thing I have to say about the subject of “fart” is that I have never, ever, heard a woman fart. Not my mom, not my teachers, and not my friends. Nothing, nada, the big O, not even a little “squeak.”
Have man and woman become so dramatically different over the course of evolution that women have simply “evolved” out of the need to fart? Or do they simply put a silencer in front of their anus? Whatever it is, I can not figure it out.
This is harder than Calculus, more complicated than Rocket Science, and certainly more bizarre than how they get the caramel into the delicious chocolate bar.
For all I know, “fart” might be the secret weapon the female race have been hiding over the years. While gang members are out there threatening each other with guns and knives , women are laughing over this silly obsession of thugs for something so trivial when it is compared to the might of the female fart. And the reason they hide this “weapon” from us men is for the fear that we might use it to create globe chaos, and by not telling us, women are really saving the world.
Or it could be because that a female fart is extremely sexy, so sexy to a point where the capacity of the average men just can’t handle, and if we are ever expose to a female fart, it might shock us so much that we simply won’t be the same ever again. So by that theory, women refuse to fart (if they do at all) in front of men simply because we as men can’t handle the excess sexiness of the female fart, and by doing so, women are sparing us.
What is the real reason of why I have never heard of a woman fart, I may never know. But what I do know is this: a woman can be a lot of things, she can be a control freak, she can be whiny, she can be emotional, and she can be vain. But one thing is for sure, women are far superior farters than us men. And if not for anything else, we should tip out hats off to them, for being the better farter between the two sex. So kudos, kudos to you, ladies.
a tribute, by Danny
posted by Danny at 12:23 PM
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